<p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二零二五年三月下社課</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">要求：七言絕句、平水韻九佳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">收集簡評：謝勇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">刊頭題字 ：蔣孝余</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">美篇編輯 ：趙以順</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【趙學(xué)鵬】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">春走高坪</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">料得北山花競開，未曾邀約出深齋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">何須待到東風(fēng)告，春舞高坪不彩排。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">簡評：春色誘人，何須邀約。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">過高坪入排軍村</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">青描古樹舊形骸，春色勾連過老街。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">路轉(zhuǎn)峰前抬眼望，晴光萬道下天階。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">簡評：點(diǎn)睛之筆在結(jié)句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">訪排軍村逢菜花節(jié)</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">撲面花光色染腮，逐人春似履芒鞋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">姑娘忽自花田出，蝶落云鬟認(rèn)作釵。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">簡評：比擬欠佳，結(jié)語熟無新意。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:20px;">訪排軍村春日集市</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">東家自有好安排，巧扮賓筵類小街。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">莫道琳瑯比春盛，只隨春意謝朋儕。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">簡評：平鋪直敘，結(jié)稍弱。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(176, 79, 187);">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【周國慶】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">觀 花</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">旖旎風(fēng)過暢形骸，花滿田間香滿懷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一枕輕黃春夢軟，殷勤扶我上云階。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">簡評：借景抒情，意在景外。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">觀 釣</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">夕陽幽渚野云排，倚石垂綸慰老懷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">釣得閑情忘物外，時光似水滌心齋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251); font-size:20px;">簡評：第三句稍直白，釣得一詞可斟酌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(176, 79, 187); font-size:20px;">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【祝西峰】 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">覽春其一</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一身俗事巧安排，余點(diǎn)工夫去放懷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">約伴同來心儀地，春光看少怨皮鞋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251); font-size:20px;">簡評：一敘到底，詩味少。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">其二</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">嫩葉嬌花處處皆，春風(fēng)送我上晴崖。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">四山聲色還貪寵，一路歸來月滿懷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">簡評：首句韻處有湊嫌，踏青意猶未盡，歸來卻嘎然而止。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(176, 79, 187);">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【劉先倫】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">乙巳二月廿三晨游紫金山</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">又逐東風(fēng)上白崖，野芳沐浴勝裙釵。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">若生飛翼奔高地，定把春光攬入懷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251); font-size:20px;">簡評：心生雙翼，盡攬春光。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">春飲花間</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">應(yīng)約花間餐玉露，春裝一例著芒鞋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">輕風(fēng)明月同歸后，惟剩田邊老刺槐。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">簡評：輕風(fēng)明月花間酒，很有畫面感，剩下的不止是老刺槐，還有意猶未盡的心緒。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">過桃李石溪</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">三月桃紅亂玉階，百千游客自成排。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">輕車勿從花間過，萬縷馨香亦滿懷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">簡評：車過桃蹊，香盈襟袖。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(176, 79, 187);">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【梁正森】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">詠 史</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">醉后何妨死便埋，劉伶放浪忘形骸。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">山公騎馬玉山倒，恰與春風(fēng)撞滿懷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251); font-size:20px;">簡評：用狂飲之典，道落落胸懷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">乙巳年春，門庭冷落，生計(jì)蕭然</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">春寒也似到長街，瑟瑟行人盡乞骸。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">店鋪蕭蕭生意冷，商家忍痛說開懷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251); font-size:20px;">簡評：刀割己肉，豈能開顏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">再題孔乙己</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">孔乙己終難釋懷，青衫破敗戀形骸。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">茴香豆也不多矣，老酒微熏倚老槐。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251); font-size:20px;">簡評：思維固化，自設(shè)樊籠。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">題聊齋</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蕭齋陋室讀聊齋，談鬼搜神草掩階。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">吏虎官狼狐子媚，蜂衙蟻陣到前排。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251); font-size:20px;">簡評：諷喻深刻</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(176, 79, 187); font-size:20px;">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【莊 紅】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">排軍采風(fēng)有感</b></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">恩進(jìn)士第</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">破瓦殘梁土木骸，深深野草遍涼齋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">勤誠孝義家聲遠(yuǎn)，絕勝當(dāng)年進(jìn)士牌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">簡評：舊宅雖破，遺風(fēng)猶在。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">花行四合院</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">春光落在舊時槐，鬧語暄暄遍小街。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">轉(zhuǎn)角花行空寂寂，青苔覆上繡花鞋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">簡評：花行有故事，徘徊念陳跡。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(176, 79, 187);">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【汪守先】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">田園行</b></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">其一</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">東風(fēng)一夜菜齊花，微雨田園曉色佳。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">數(shù)里鵝黃金滿目，誰鋪詩境上山厓。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251); font-size:20px;">簡評：春滿詩意</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">其二</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">野徑幽幽清韻拂，田疇漠漠陣香排。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">游蜂幾處迷人眼，起落山風(fēng)久放懷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251); font-size:20px;">簡評：春色迷人，胸懷放寬，愜意郊游。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">街 行</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">車輅轔轔鳥語諧，清明欲近思縈懷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">商家知解行人意，一路綠紅青掛階。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251); font-size:20px;">簡評：市井蕭條，清明時節(jié)，商機(jī)也僅僅是掛階綠紅青。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">羨 他</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">傲骨澄心思倚馬，吟詩老氣詎凌儕。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">羨他清水芙蓉格，雅語輕拈信手排。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251); font-size:20px;">簡評：對某個詩人評價(jià)很高</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">清 愁</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">瘦骨秋風(fēng)嗟老馬，小詩寒色覆陰霾。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">清愁郁郁知多少，直向庾郎胸底排。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251); font-size:20px;">簡評：蘭成老去誰相識，獨(dú)倚扁舟多所思。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(176, 79, 187); font-size:20px;">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【牟明英】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">漫步見垃圾難忍</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">尋幽意欲步苔階，一望四周實(shí)不諧。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">葉覆千層難掩穢，迎風(fēng)亂舞惡心懷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">簡評：言實(shí)意淺</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">網(wǎng)購</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">不用出門閑逛街，收藏好物店家排。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">下單前夕再斟酌，一指輕敲貨入齋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">簡評：意直多冗句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">臨窗一得</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">迎眸細(xì)柳綠成排，雙燕歸巢最討乖。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">縱使春來秋又去，總留儷影繞堂階。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251); font-size:20px;">簡評：中規(guī)中矩，欠出彩處</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(176, 79, 187);">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【趙以順】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">影山湖春</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">草戲銀魚水漫階，露兒初濕踏春鞋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">乘風(fēng)燕子穿花過，陣陣清香撲滿懷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">簡評：筆觸流暢，轉(zhuǎn)結(jié)自然。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">芳 槐</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">昨夜那春入魂夢，月華斑駁曳芳槐。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">人間轉(zhuǎn)瞬花飛去，一抹幽香年月埋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">簡評：歲月埋藏了那一抹幽香，卻劃不走夢中那一縷思念。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(176, 79, 187);">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【文受剛】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">春分二絕</b></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">其一</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">春暖花開景色佳，踏青中有美嬌娃。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蛾眉淡掃輕施粉，臉比明星亦不差。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">簡評：美在春色，春色真美。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">其 二</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">郊游結(jié)伴約朋儕，真水真山入我懷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">親近自然尋感悟，詩將一步一臺階。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251); font-size:20px;">簡評：從自然中尋求真我，在詩詞里感悟人生。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(176, 79, 187);">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">【謝 勇】</b></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">乙巳二月十八日凈心閣漫興</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蕭條生事懶嬰懷，歸客須將意緒埋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鐘鼎簞瓢隨己命，塵心寬處即高齋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">乙巳春分后一日有懷</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">形役那知春色佳，平生行跡店中埋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花開時節(jié)憑微信，淑氣絲絲馳百骸。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">乙巳二月廿四日見樓下桃花初放</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒致疏枝岑寂久，東風(fēng)催蕊許差排。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花因暖律齊爭艷，人似黔婁與世乖。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">乙巳三月初一回鄉(xiāng)祭祖</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">春滿鄉(xiāng)山景色佳，踏青挑菜別安排。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">霏微雨濕墳頭草，斑駁苔碑愴老懷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">簡評：拙作</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(176, 79, 187);">?</span></p>