<p class="ql-block">@所有人</p><p class="ql-block">華夏微型詩社第533期周周發(fā)同題創(chuàng)作開始了。</p><p class="ql-block"> 歡迎詩友們參與微型詩寫作!請早日構思打磨!</p><p class="ql-block">備注:</p><p class="ql-block">1、投稿、收稿時間:</p><p class="ql-block">3月11日晚上7點——10點。</p><p class="ql-block">2、每人選投一首微型詩。</p><p class="ql-block">3、請單獨發(fā)帖,不要自行接龍,由巴山一松老師統(tǒng)一收稿。</p><p class="ql-block">4、稿件選編到美篇,并由詩社老師予以點評。</p><p class="ql-block">5、本期題目:</p><p class="ql-block">①《杏花吹滿頭》 </p><p class="ql-block">②《陌上相逢》</p><p class="ql-block">6.出題老師:昨夜星</p><p class="ql-block">7、交流時可交流兩首,投稿時只選投一首,收稿只收一首,點評也只點評一首。</p><p class="ql-block">8.優(yōu)秀作品推薦“微詩坊”。</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/岐麟散人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">今生有緣 方寸間碰面</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">你姹紫我嫣紅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春風中 互相點贊</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 詩中的″姹紫嫣紅",是建立在"方寸間″,那是歲月,黑白照片,更是青春的歲月,交流中皆花好月圓。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/隨風</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">那次櫻花綻放見過</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">后來各自,謀生</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">再后來相遇梅花小路,激動</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 人生陌上再次相逢,不期而遇,激動驚喜,尤其對同樣命運的人。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/吉新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">你的影子與我的影子</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">暮色下重疊</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">像兩株倔強的野草,風中搖曳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 一對當初心心相印的戀人,終于在暮年的陌上相逢相擁,像野草倔強脆弱,且不可遏止。相逢又如何,愛恨永遠止步于彼此內心的"影子相疊",僅此而已。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/古道白楊</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 不負三月卻被三月深愛 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">不經意間 腳步驚動枝頭蝶 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">粉飾銀發(fā) 粉動詩情</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> "不負三月"是"我興高采烈地來了",也是自我人生判斷,"不經意間"是意識也是感慨?!宸埏椼y發(fā) "是無奈, "粉動詩情"是心態(tài)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文八鄉(xiāng)人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一只小蜜蜂銜來油菜花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">是你捎給我的祝福</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">未面也相通</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 末行耐品,內心甜蜜!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/雪兒懷春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">十年回家空氣仍那么宜人清新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">柏油路難見車輛行</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">高樓閉戶幸有鳥兒折騰迎接</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 立意新,關注農村的生存狀態(tài),為了生活,年輕人都外出打工,許多老年人或逝去,或隨子女外遷,殘留"高樓閉戶"。詩人以第一人稱去寫,自然親切!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蝴蝶,紛紛從樹梢飛落</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">跟我兩鬢比白</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">還是想,與面色爭粉嫩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 幽默的語氣,輕松的心態(tài)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/付光渝</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">穿越寒冬 只為與你在</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春暖花開的季節(jié)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">重拾舊緣 田野追夢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 含蓄,浪漫,勇敢!</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/陳興茂</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">渴望積蓄整一年</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">思最重 念更深</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">不待春風遍 一縷清香灑人間</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首句道出杏花長久的期盼,二句植入濃濃的情感,末句盡顯杏花急切之情,同時也展現(xiàn)了杏花綻放的美好。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/喜陽柳保宅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">田間小路,腳步輕放緩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">目光撞進,你含笑雙眼</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">剎那,心動悄然蔓延</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 微詩語言優(yōu)美,描寫細膩,將邂逅時的微妙情感展現(xiàn)得真實動人。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/行天 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">好景氤氳路</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">心約明媚芳菲月 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">低眉香 軟語呢喃</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首句營造美好氛圍,中間句表達對春日杏花的向往,末句充滿詩意柔情,全首語言優(yōu)美,富有意境。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/二海</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蓋住銀絲的輕語</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">歲月從樹枝上落下</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">道別 青春的羞澀</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 微詩以杏花為引,抒發(fā)歲月流逝、青春不再的感慨。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/森林雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春風大媒婆宣告</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">凡進山入園,朵朵</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">山妹子就會飄落,簪你鬢角</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 擬人手法運用巧妙,把春風比作大媒婆,“山妹子就會飄落”,展現(xiàn)杏花盛開、惹人喜愛之景。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/晗羲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">白鷺振翅,掀起錦水波濤</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">桃香醉了十里春風</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">月夜幽夢,油菜花海中紅袂飄飄</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 畫面感強,全詩營造唯美氛圍,末句語言浪漫,引人遐想萬千。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/康秀炎</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">誰家的杏花出墻</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">在我的頭發(fā)上</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">占盡春風</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 微詩寫出杏花盛開之態(tài),盡顯杏花蓬勃生機。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/趙正霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一抹香 似那年</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">只是少了拾花人 空告白</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">心上 開出一朵憂傷</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 微詩滿滿地回憶,飽含物是人非的憂傷,情深深,意綿綿。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/丹霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">當春風拂著你的面頰</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏激情撩起</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">花瓣紛紛落下</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 個人感覺沒展開,釋題了。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/陽光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春風只輕輕一個吻</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">瓣瓣相思</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紛紛 在青絲上著路</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 扣題緊密,情景融合。“著路”是否是著陸?</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/東方虹雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫云英爭不過油菜花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">只能布谷鳥發(fā)出暗號</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">搶在清明前 為大地輸血 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 清明前,巧點時間,作者筆下的春天一派生機盎然,表達有新意。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/小乙</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風,翻閱春的扉頁。不小心</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">弄得踏青姑娘雙鬢雪。香</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一瓣比一瓣白,一陣比一陣濃</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 緊扣詩題,有景有人,有香有色。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/墨客吟</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春風給三月畫大餅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">留白處</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">愛恨互爭名望</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 構思不錯,行文簡潔,表達出新,“畫大餅”“留白處”含義豐富。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/綠色</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陽光引領,山坡上走來</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一撥迎親隊伍,戴粉紅蓋頭的新娘</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">特別耀眼</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 構思了一個情節(jié),挺有畫面感。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/林漢梁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">鄉(xiāng)間小路遇見她</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">我兩眼放光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">大學系里追求之人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 緊扣詩題,“陌上”曾經相戀之人相逢,不甚欣喜。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/劍風使者</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風兒含香。一襲疏影陌上歸</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂蝶追攆十里開外</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迷失在繽紛絮語里</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 特別的愛給特別的你,“蜂蝶追攆十里開外”乃是因“一襲疏影陌上歸”,追花香也追美人。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/葦強</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春風拂過曙光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">小路寂靜</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一串淚珠滾落一朵綻放的桃花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長風簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “一串淚珠”與“一朵綻放的桃花”形成反差,給陌上相逢帶來了戲劇感。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/老妖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">應邀赴約趕堂會</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">竟秀亮相鮮嬌耀眼歡快上陣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">醉 風舞翩躚春日飄飛雪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長風簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 竟秀亮相、風舞翩躚、春日飄飛雪,營造出了杏花吹滿頭的詩意氛圍。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/空谷幽蘭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">你一襲紅衣翩躚</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">驚艷三春風光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">攜手走進桃花塢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長風簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 這個“你”是有故事的,“一襲紅衣”亮眼,“桃花塢”一筆兩用,既是春天,也是融入。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/綠柳楓</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">在春光的路口</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">等風,也等你</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">雪,刷白了回憶的發(fā)梢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長風簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “春光的路口”詩語搭配巧妙,“雪,刷白了回憶的發(fā)梢”新穎扣題,畫面感強。作品虛實結合,情景互現(xiàn),頗顯功力。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/心開</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">水袖舞起來花開</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">二人轉的手帕抖起來</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">遇見,未來的萬種可能態(tài)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長風簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “二人轉”承上啟下,讓相逢具象化了,也讓“未來的萬種可能態(tài)”增加了踏實感。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/吳琳玲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">折柳 寄情</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">緣分的篇章拉開序幕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">輕輕一抹 繪出了靈魂的輪廓</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長風簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “輕輕一抹/繪出了靈魂的輪廓”,好想象,也著實不容易。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花滿枝頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/高峰</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風 偷吻著春夢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">粉墨鋪展</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">那雪白的雨 浪漫飄起</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長風簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 唯美的畫面,抒情的表達,風吻夢,雨飄起,想想都陶醉。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花滿枝頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/家鄉(xiāng)小河</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">繽紛顏色,眉目傳情</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">我從你身旁走過</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">是否捕捉到那怦然的一瞥</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長風簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 借花抒情,不知“是否捕捉到那怦然的一瞥”的該是“你”還是“我”?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/江南風</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風,最懂</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一瓣瓣撲撲的心跳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">纏綿著,秀發(fā)飄逸出的信號</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 由眼中觀察到的“杏花”綻放枝頭景象,展開。這里用了一個字“風”,讓讀者想到“杏花”在春風吹動下,婀娜多姿,搖曳的美,又流露出自己喜悅心情。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “杏花”瓣,與人物之心情,人物之自身結合起來寫,景和情交織一起,以景入情,以景襯托人物之感情、心境。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 結尾的點題,不僅呼應了標題,而且意味深長。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 有景,有情,有人,而且,“人物”都是融合在景中寫的。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 微詩沒就事論事,簡單停在寫景上,而是深入一步。用普通意象“杏花”,塑造出一個長發(fā)飄飄,美麗動人女子的形象——深深印在讀者腦海中。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花滿枝頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/輕舟</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">或流連,或仰望</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">微笑不語</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">隨東風,一朵一朵聞香</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 寫看“杏花”時的實際場景、情況,心境,行為動作。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 詩語樸素、簡練,拓展能再深入一些會更好!應寫題目是《杏花吹滿頭》。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/吳琳玲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">空氣中彌漫清甜的芬芳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">你的溫柔 在寂寞心湖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蕩起了漣漪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 由杏花之清香,展開聯(lián)想。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/書蟲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">粉紅雪,化為柔情雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">輕揉往事釀作酒,醉了心</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">我攬春風,入夢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 一樹杏花,讓作者思緒萬千。三行詩,別納入過多的情感關照,集中一點,圍繞一個中心意象發(fā)力。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/蔡厚炳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">土得掉渣的方言</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">擠進繁華都市三千年</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">遇旗袍 仍然瞠目</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 兄長多用白描手法入詩。直抒胸臆,直接說出。微詩三行,含蓄,留白之手法也重要。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/往往醉后</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">朵朵羞澀 站在三月枝頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">趁東風</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">又拾起舊時記憶</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡評:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 寫出了自己的觀察、思索?!芭f時記憶”引起讀者聯(lián)想。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 看看江南風是怎樣點題,扣題的。</span></p>