<p class="ql-block">@所有人</p><p class="ql-block">華夏微型詩(shī)社第533期周周發(fā)同題創(chuàng)作開(kāi)始了。</p><p class="ql-block"> 歡迎詩(shī)友們參與微型詩(shī)寫(xiě)作!請(qǐng)?jiān)缛諛?gòu)思打磨!</p><p class="ql-block">備注:</p><p class="ql-block">1、投稿、收稿時(shí)間:</p><p class="ql-block">3月11日晚上7點(diǎn)——10點(diǎn)。</p><p class="ql-block">2、每人選投一首微型詩(shī)。</p><p class="ql-block">3、請(qǐng)單獨(dú)發(fā)帖,不要自行接龍,由巴山一松老師統(tǒng)一收稿。</p><p class="ql-block">4、稿件選編到美篇,并由詩(shī)社老師予以點(diǎn)評(píng)。</p><p class="ql-block">5、本期題目:</p><p class="ql-block">①《杏花吹滿頭》 </p><p class="ql-block">②《陌上相逢》</p><p class="ql-block">6.出題老師:昨夜星</p><p class="ql-block">7、交流時(shí)可交流兩首,投稿時(shí)只選投一首,收稿只收一首,點(diǎn)評(píng)也只點(diǎn)評(píng)一首。</p><p class="ql-block">8.優(yōu)秀作品推薦“微詩(shī)坊”。</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/岐麟散人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">今生有緣 方寸間碰面</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">你姹紫我嫣紅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春風(fēng)中 互相點(diǎn)贊</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 詩(shī)中的″姹紫嫣紅",是建立在"方寸間″,那是歲月,黑白照片,更是青春的歲月,交流中皆花好月圓。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/隨風(fēng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">那次櫻花綻放見(jiàn)過(guò)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">后來(lái)各自,謀生</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">再后來(lái)相遇梅花小路,激動(dòng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 人生陌上再次相逢,不期而遇,激動(dòng)驚喜,尤其對(duì)同樣命運(yùn)的人。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/吉新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">你的影子與我的影子</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">暮色下重疊</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">像兩株倔強(qiáng)的野草,風(fēng)中搖曳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 一對(duì)當(dāng)初心心相印的戀人,終于在暮年的陌上相逢相擁,像野草倔強(qiáng)脆弱,且不可遏止。相逢又如何,愛(ài)恨永遠(yuǎn)止步于彼此內(nèi)心的"影子相疊",僅此而已。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/古道白楊</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 不負(fù)三月卻被三月深?lèi)?ài) </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">不經(jīng)意間 腳步驚動(dòng)枝頭蝶 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">粉飾銀發(fā) 粉動(dòng)詩(shī)情</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> "不負(fù)三月"是"我興高采烈地來(lái)了",也是自我人生判斷,"不經(jīng)意間"是意識(shí)也是感慨?!宸埏椼y發(fā) "是無(wú)奈, "粉動(dòng)詩(shī)情"是心態(tài)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文八鄉(xiāng)人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一只小蜜蜂銜來(lái)油菜花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">是你捎給我的祝福</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">未面也相通</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 末行耐品,內(nèi)心甜蜜!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/雪兒懷春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">十年回家空氣仍那么宜人清新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">柏油路難見(jiàn)車(chē)輛行</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">高樓閉戶幸有鳥(niǎo)兒折騰迎接</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 立意新,關(guān)注農(nóng)村的生存狀態(tài),為了生活,年輕人都外出打工,許多老年人或逝去,或隨子女外遷,殘留"高樓閉戶"。詩(shī)人以第一人稱(chēng)去寫(xiě),自然親切!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蝴蝶,紛紛從樹(shù)梢飛落</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">跟我兩鬢比白</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">還是想,與面色爭(zhēng)粉嫩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 幽默的語(yǔ)氣,輕松的心態(tài)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/付光渝</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">穿越寒冬 只為與你在</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春暖花開(kāi)的季節(jié)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">重拾舊緣 田野追夢(mèng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 含蓄,浪漫,勇敢!</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/陳興茂</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">渴望積蓄整一年</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">思最重 念更深</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">不待春風(fēng)遍 一縷清香灑人間</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首句道出杏花長(zhǎng)久的期盼,二句植入濃濃的情感,末句盡顯杏花急切之情,同時(shí)也展現(xiàn)了杏花綻放的美好。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/喜陽(yáng)柳保宅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">田間小路,腳步輕放緩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">目光撞進(jìn),你含笑雙眼</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">剎那,心動(dòng)悄然蔓延</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 微詩(shī)語(yǔ)言優(yōu)美,描寫(xiě)細(xì)膩,將邂逅時(shí)的微妙情感展現(xiàn)得真實(shí)動(dòng)人。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/行天 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">好景氤氳路</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">心約明媚芳菲月 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">低眉香 軟語(yǔ)呢喃</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首句營(yíng)造美好氛圍,中間句表達(dá)對(duì)春日杏花的向往,末句充滿詩(shī)意柔情,全首語(yǔ)言優(yōu)美,富有意境。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/二海</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蓋住銀絲的輕語(yǔ)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">歲月從樹(shù)枝上落下</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">道別 青春的羞澀</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 微詩(shī)以杏花為引,抒發(fā)歲月流逝、青春不再的感慨。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/森林雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春風(fēng)大媒婆宣告</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">凡進(jìn)山入園,朵朵</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">山妹子就會(huì)飄落,簪你鬢角</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 擬人手法運(yùn)用巧妙,把春風(fēng)比作大媒婆,“山妹子就會(huì)飄落”,展現(xiàn)杏花盛開(kāi)、惹人喜愛(ài)之景。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/晗羲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">白鷺振翅,掀起錦水波濤</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">桃香醉了十里春風(fēng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">月夜幽夢(mèng),油菜花海中紅袂飄飄</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 畫(huà)面感強(qiáng),全詩(shī)營(yíng)造唯美氛圍,末句語(yǔ)言浪漫,引人遐想萬(wàn)千。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/康秀炎</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">誰(shuí)家的杏花出墻</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">在我的頭發(fā)上</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">占盡春風(fēng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 微詩(shī)寫(xiě)出杏花盛開(kāi)之態(tài),盡顯杏花蓬勃生機(jī)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/趙正霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一抹香 似那年</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">只是少了拾花人 空告白</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">心上 開(kāi)出一朵憂傷</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 微詩(shī)滿滿地回憶,飽含物是人非的憂傷,情深深,意綿綿。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/丹霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">當(dāng)春風(fēng)拂著你的面頰</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏激情撩起</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">花瓣紛紛落下</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 個(gè)人感覺(jué)沒(méi)展開(kāi),釋題了。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/陽(yáng)光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春風(fēng)只輕輕一個(gè)吻</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">瓣瓣相思</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紛紛 在青絲上著路</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 扣題緊密,情景融合。“著路”是否是著陸?</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/東方虹雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫云英爭(zhēng)不過(guò)油菜花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">只能布谷鳥(niǎo)發(fā)出暗號(hào)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">搶在清明前 為大地輸血 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 清明前,巧點(diǎn)時(shí)間,作者筆下的春天一派生機(jī)盎然,表達(dá)有新意。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/小乙</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風(fēng),翻閱春的扉頁(yè)。不小心</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">弄得踏青姑娘雙鬢雪。香</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一瓣比一瓣白,一陣比一陣濃</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 緊扣詩(shī)題,有景有人,有香有色。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/墨客吟</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春風(fēng)給三月畫(huà)大餅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">留白處</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">愛(ài)恨互爭(zhēng)名望</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 構(gòu)思不錯(cuò),行文簡(jiǎn)潔,表達(dá)出新,“畫(huà)大餅”“留白處”含義豐富。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/綠色</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陽(yáng)光引領(lǐng),山坡上走來(lái)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一撥迎親隊(duì)伍,戴粉紅蓋頭的新娘</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">特別耀眼</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 構(gòu)思了一個(gè)情節(jié),挺有畫(huà)面感。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/林漢梁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">鄉(xiāng)間小路遇見(jiàn)她</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">我兩眼放光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">大學(xué)系里追求之人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 緊扣詩(shī)題,“陌上”曾經(jīng)相戀之人相逢,不甚欣喜。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/劍風(fēng)使者</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風(fēng)兒含香。一襲疏影陌上歸</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂蝶追攆十里開(kāi)外</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">迷失在繽紛絮語(yǔ)里</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 特別的愛(ài)給特別的你,“蜂蝶追攆十里開(kāi)外”乃是因“一襲疏影陌上歸”,追花香也追美人。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/葦強(qiáng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春風(fēng)拂過(guò)曙光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">小路寂靜</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一串淚珠滾落一朵綻放的桃花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “一串淚珠”與“一朵綻放的桃花”形成反差,給陌上相逢帶來(lái)了戲劇感。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/老妖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">應(yīng)邀赴約趕堂會(huì)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">竟秀亮相鮮嬌耀眼歡快上陣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">醉 風(fēng)舞翩躚春日飄飛雪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 竟秀亮相、風(fēng)舞翩躚、春日飄飛雪,營(yíng)造出了杏花吹滿頭的詩(shī)意氛圍。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/空谷幽蘭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">你一襲紅衣翩躚</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">驚艷三春風(fēng)光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">攜手走進(jìn)桃花塢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 這個(gè)“你”是有故事的,“一襲紅衣”亮眼,“桃花塢”一筆兩用,既是春天,也是融入。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/綠柳楓</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">在春光的路口</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">等風(fēng),也等你</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">雪,刷白了回憶的發(fā)梢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “春光的路口”詩(shī)語(yǔ)搭配巧妙,“雪,刷白了回憶的發(fā)梢”新穎扣題,畫(huà)面感強(qiáng)。作品虛實(shí)結(jié)合,情景互現(xiàn),頗顯功力。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/心開(kāi)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">水袖舞起來(lái)花開(kāi)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">二人轉(zhuǎn)的手帕抖起來(lái)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">遇見(jiàn),未來(lái)的萬(wàn)種可能態(tài)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “二人轉(zhuǎn)”承上啟下,讓相逢具象化了,也讓“未來(lái)的萬(wàn)種可能態(tài)”增加了踏實(shí)感。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/吳琳玲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">折柳 寄情</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">緣分的篇章拉開(kāi)序幕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">輕輕一抹 繪出了靈魂的輪廓</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “輕輕一抹/繪出了靈魂的輪廓”,好想象,也著實(shí)不容易。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花滿枝頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/高峰</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風(fēng) 偷吻著春夢(mèng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">粉墨鋪展</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">那雪白的雨 浪漫飄起</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 唯美的畫(huà)面,抒情的表達(dá),風(fēng)吻夢(mèng),雨飄起,想想都陶醉。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花滿枝頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/家鄉(xiāng)小河</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">繽紛顏色,眉目傳情</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">我從你身旁走過(guò)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">是否捕捉到那怦然的一瞥</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 借花抒情,不知“是否捕捉到那怦然的一瞥”的該是“你”還是“我”?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/江南風(fēng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風(fēng),最懂</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一瓣瓣撲撲的心跳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">纏綿著,秀發(fā)飄逸出的信號(hào)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 由眼中觀察到的“杏花”綻放枝頭景象,展開(kāi)。這里用了一個(gè)字“風(fēng)”,讓讀者想到“杏花”在春風(fēng)吹動(dòng)下,婀娜多姿,搖曳的美,又流露出自己喜悅心情。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “杏花”瓣,與人物之心情,人物之自身結(jié)合起來(lái)寫(xiě),景和情交織一起,以景入情,以景襯托人物之感情、心境。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 結(jié)尾的點(diǎn)題,不僅呼應(yīng)了標(biāo)題,而且意味深長(zhǎng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 有景,有情,有人,而且,“人物”都是融合在景中寫(xiě)的。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 微詩(shī)沒(méi)就事論事,簡(jiǎn)單停在寫(xiě)景上,而是深入一步。用普通意象“杏花”,塑造出一個(gè)長(zhǎng)發(fā)飄飄,美麗動(dòng)人女子的形象——深深印在讀者腦海中。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花滿枝頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/輕舟</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">或流連,或仰望</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">微笑不語(yǔ)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">隨東風(fēng),一朵一朵聞香</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 寫(xiě)看“杏花”時(shí)的實(shí)際場(chǎng)景、情況,心境,行為動(dòng)作。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 詩(shī)語(yǔ)樸素、簡(jiǎn)練,拓展能再深入一些會(huì)更好!應(yīng)寫(xiě)題目是《杏花吹滿頭》。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/吳琳玲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">空氣中彌漫清甜的芬芳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">你的溫柔 在寂寞心湖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蕩起了漣漪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 由杏花之清香,展開(kāi)聯(lián)想。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/書(shū)蟲(chóng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">粉紅雪,化為柔情雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">輕揉往事釀作酒,醉了心</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">我攬春風(fēng),入夢(mèng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 一樹(shù)杏花,讓作者思緒萬(wàn)千。三行詩(shī),別納入過(guò)多的情感關(guān)照,集中一點(diǎn),圍繞一個(gè)中心意象發(fā)力。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陌上相逢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/蔡厚炳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">土得掉渣的方言</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">擠進(jìn)繁華都市三千年</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">遇旗袍 仍然瞠目</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 兄長(zhǎng)多用白描手法入詩(shī)。直抒胸臆,直接說(shuō)出。微詩(shī)三行,含蓄,留白之手法也重要。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">杏花吹滿頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/往往醉后</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">朵朵羞澀 站在三月枝頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">趁東風(fēng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">又拾起舊時(shí)記憶</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 寫(xiě)出了自己的觀察、思索?!芭f時(shí)記憶”引起讀者聯(lián)想。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 看看江南風(fēng)是怎樣點(diǎn)題,扣題的。</span></p>