<p class="ql-block">班主任：無憂花 許琞</p><p class="ql-block">班助：龍泉客 傻骨柔腸</p><p class="ql-block">作管班長(zhǎng)：陽光</p><p class="ql-block">美篇班長(zhǎng)：雨夜伊人</p><p class="ql-block">作業(yè)美篇：雨夜伊人 龍泉客</p><p class="ql-block">練習(xí)美篇：傻骨柔腸</p><p class="ql-block">評(píng)閱團(tuán)長(zhǎng)：活色生香 王琴杰 </p><p class="ql-block"> 龍泉客</p><p class="ql-block">晨讀領(lǐng)讀：王琴杰</p><p class="ql-block">群讀考勤：活色生香</p><p class="ql-block">審稿： 思雨 秋云</p> <p class="ql-block">律53高二第2講作業(yè)</p><p class="ql-block">請(qǐng)以“梅花”為題材寫五律一首，韻部自選。依所學(xué)知識(shí)要求如下：</p><p class="ql-block">（1）對(duì)、粘、替不得有誤，不能有三平尾，三仄尾。</p><p class="ql-block">（2）起句興起，景語，直入主題，不拖泥帶水，不負(fù)面。</p><p class="ql-block">（3）承句為偶句，景語，做到了承上啟下和擴(kuò)展擴(kuò)張。</p><p class="ql-block">（4）轉(zhuǎn)句為偶句，情語。</p><p class="ql-block">（5）合句前分句小結(jié)前面六個(gè)分句，合句后分句實(shí)比扣回起句。</p><p class="ql-block">（6）注意承轉(zhuǎn)兩個(gè)偶句字義節(jié)奏的變化（有AB節(jié)奏之分）。</p><p class="ql-block">（7）注意四聲遞用法。</p><p class="ql-block">（8）注意八個(gè)銜接性和八個(gè)獨(dú)立性。</p><p class="ql-block">（9）避免窄韻、倒韻、險(xiǎn)韻、串韻、湊韻的錯(cuò)誤，注意遵守韻不入詩(shī)。</p><p class="ql-block">（10）不得有太陽雨。</p> <p class="ql-block">11）不得使用詞組，注意1-4；2-5位置字的詞性。</p><p class="ql-block">（12）注意物象的選擇及應(yīng)用，營(yíng)造意境。</p><p class="ql-block">（13）首字平仄和韻字陰陽，盡可能達(dá)到平衡，韻字做到動(dòng)靜結(jié)合。</p><p class="ql-block">（14）合理安排隊(duì)長(zhǎng)隊(duì)員和收放。</p><p class="ql-block">（15）合理安排虛實(shí)。</p><p class="ql-block">（16）注意氣勢(shì)的合理安排。</p><p class="ql-block">（17）注意脈絡(luò)暢通。</p><p class="ql-block">（18）注意詩(shī)畫、群聚和明理。</p><p class="ql-block">（19）注意起句要有“的”。</p><p class="ql-block">（20）注意承、起句要關(guān)聯(lián)緊密。</p><p class="ql-block">（21）轉(zhuǎn)句注意銜接性、提升能還原到絲。</p><p class="ql-block">（22）合句要么明志、要么神情。</p><p class="ql-block">（23）注意詩(shī)言志、明志、</p><p class="ql-block"> 24）注意體物、密跗。</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">賞梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/許琞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅林伴客游，滿目景清幽。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">阡陌孤芳艷，山川傲骨柔。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒香松霧色，瘦影雪侵樓。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">曲徑瓊枝悄，爭(zhēng)春紫蓋悠。</span></p><p class="ql-block">修改稿</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韻梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/雨夜伊人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">孤芳冬九立，靜院暗香彌。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風(fēng)雪催疏蕊，冰霜裹細(xì)枝。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">精魂君子敬，品節(jié)墨官癡。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">幾度迎寒苦，侵肌志不移。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">頌梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);"> 文/ 李秀亭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">凌寒山徑旁，風(fēng)起送清香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">靚影迎賓醉，馥魂令我昂。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雪花隨日去，梅朵獨(dú)容芳。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">無意爭(zhēng)春色，天生不懼霜。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/柔腸</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">疏影向冬生，報(bào)春留美名。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">香魂?duì)坷淙?，麗色映冰瓊?lt;/span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雪重禪心靜，風(fēng)疾傲骨迎。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">歲寒三結(jié)友，羞與百花爭(zhēng)。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/龍泉客</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寂靜山崖處，凌寒暗送香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?枝橫冰雪里，蕊綻水云旁。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">傲骨擎天地，幽姿入賦章。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">平生身自潔，秀氣韻中藏。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">贊紅梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/呂占海</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">嫣顏披素裹，俏貌頂銀絨。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">展艷寒風(fēng)季，含苞雪里紅。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">天生存傲骨，大度厭爭(zhēng)崇。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">只盼春來早，同歡百俊中。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">賞梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/秦川</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">凌寒蓓蕾催，相約擷春來。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">傲骨豪情放，冰肌盡興裁。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">披霜含倩影，浴雪映霞腮。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">景美千人醉，馨香一束梅。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/晨曦</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">疏影幾枝藏，隨風(fēng)送暗香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花開同雪舞，瓣落護(hù)春妝。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">傲骨群英妒，精魂墨客揚(yáng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">平生懷四德，報(bào)喜獻(xiàn)和祥。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">詠梅花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/林天平</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">早起進(jìn)廳堂 ，遙聞一陣香 。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒風(fēng)冰片碎，紅蕾樹枝妝 。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">大雪封山脈，鮮花傲玉霜 。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雖無新葉護(hù)，照舊映朝陽 。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/月光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">瑞雪卷蒼穹，梅株展艷紅。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">冰肌芳樹靜，玉骨雅情融。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">弄蕊何人共，尋香有客同。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">落英題賦曲，飛絮舞花叢。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 梅花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/思雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">披拂幻成霞，聞香勝品茶。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風(fēng)來千蝶舞，影動(dòng)數(shù)枝斜。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">冷蕊鋪春意，孤芳展物華。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">屢經(jīng)冰雪辱，練就絕塵花。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒梅贊</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/玉良</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">眾芳搖落后，凜冽展新妍。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">天有玉龍舞，花無黃蝶懸。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鳩驚已偷看，貓喜早聞鮮。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">骨傲梅高潔，騷人贊雅篇。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">詠梅 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/秋云</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">傲雪花顏俏，瓊林第一枝，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水邊冰戀影，陌上霧添姿。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">迢遞偏情厚，孤高益畫奇。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">歲寒松竹友，香滿案頭詩(shī)。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/一葉知秋</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">疏枝水岸橫，傲雪暗香縈。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">綻蕾如粉腮，凝珠若彩晶。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">唯憑桃李妒，不畏苦寒生。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">報(bào)得春風(fēng)意，成塵更護(hù)英。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">觀梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/陽光普照</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">書堂香暗涌，門外遂追巡。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一樹花如火，滿庭雪似銀。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">清來偏厚我，俏起不爭(zhēng)春。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">傲立風(fēng)中舞，凌寒秀氣真。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/笑看風(fēng)云</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒英綻路陂，抱雪秀幽姿。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">色艷游人賞，香浮野陌隨。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">放聲吟傲骨，乘興賦新詞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">借得花墨妙，芳情惹筆癡。</span></p><p class="ql-block">注：①寒英：這里指梅花。</p><p class="ql-block">②香浮野陌隨：隨，動(dòng)詞，從的意思。</p><p class="ql-block">③墨妙：文辭、書法或繪畫技巧巧妙。</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">詠梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/綠野</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">陌上幾株栽，仙姿疏影裁。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">橫斜清蕊擺，迢遞暗香來。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">玉骨凌寒雪，冰魂絕俗埃。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">爭(zhēng)先百花俏，只為報(bào)春開。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);"> 文/活色生香</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">庭前幾樹花，疏影自橫斜。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">伴雪妝紅靨，臨霜著白紗。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">山園觀鶴羽，驛路寄春華。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">馥郁凌寒送，堅(jiān)貞世代夸。</span></p><p class="ql-block">轉(zhuǎn)句用了“梅妻鶴子”和“逢驛使贈(zèng)梅”的典故。</p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(255, 138, 0);">淺評(píng)：寫梅用“梅妻鶴子”典故的非常多。這首詩(shī)寫的非常好，轉(zhuǎn)換自如朗朗上口，而且通俗易懂。好的詩(shī)詞是婦孺都能通讀，簡(jiǎn)單易懂。不錯(cuò)，加油！</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花贊 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/藍(lán)天草原</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">紅蕾嚴(yán)寒俏，芳姿寂寞鄰。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">香魂舒艷蕊，白雪吻朱唇。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">骨傲騷風(fēng)在，文雄雅語頻。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">悠然終玉潔，獨(dú)自凈花身。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">詠梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/開心奶奶</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒冬嬌卉杳，素野俏梅斜。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">香暗馨尤遠(yuǎn)，影疏妍若霞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雪凋紅蕊艷，風(fēng)冽韻姿嘉。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">無意爭(zhēng)春色，不辭榮歲華。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(255, 138, 0);">評(píng)閱：小詩(shī)讀起來陰陽頓挫四聲波動(dòng)非常的上口，對(duì)偶工整，用字優(yōu)美。為“無意爭(zhēng)春色”句點(diǎn)贊！</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(255, 138, 0);">“雪凋紅蕊艷，風(fēng)冽韻姿嘉?！鞭D(zhuǎn)句的銜接性，提升并還原到絲了。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花贊<span class="ql-cursor">?</span></span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/馨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">仙姿一樹瓊，冷蕊向天瑩。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雪虐疏枝俏，風(fēng)侵艷魄清。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涵香傳福韻，展蕾冠群英。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">獨(dú)秀攜松竹，同留傲骨錚。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">探梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/云淡風(fēng)輕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小萼映珠光，橫斜小院旁。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花開千蕊秀，風(fēng)動(dòng)一村香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">傲骨添詩(shī)韻，冰肌入酒觴。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">輕輕花下坐，也學(xué)壽陽妝。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">詠梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/王琴杰</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">疏影九冬呈，玲瓏妙態(tài)生。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">寒風(fēng)搖細(xì)蕊，白雪輟新英。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">香冽詩(shī)人韻，形妍畫士名。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邀來松與竹，義氣眾心傾。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/西樓子</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">凌寒玉有瑕，殊韻透繁花。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">愿向冬君付，期于水客夸。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">世塵憑絮雪，清夢(mèng)寄天涯。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">抱璞何人惜，芳時(shí)報(bào)萬家。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(255, 138, 0);">悠然淺評(píng):問好西樓子學(xué)友。小詩(shī)基本符合作業(yè)要求。只是四聲遞用需要加強(qiáng)練習(xí)。另要多煉詞煉句，如“期于水客夸、”“世塵憑絮雪”中的夸和憑放在句中就有些不好理解，以上個(gè)見，如有不當(dāng)之處，請(qǐng)見諒。祝學(xué)習(xí)愉快。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">紅梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/言善信</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">逢臘千枝蕊，迎春一抹香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">冰寒滋玉露，日暖索紅妝。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">獨(dú)秀嬌姿遠(yuǎn)，爭(zhēng)榮豐韻長(zhǎng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">東風(fēng)催姹紫，疏影伴遲光。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(255, 138, 0);">評(píng)閱：第一句感覺不好之外，其他都可以說是佳句。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);"> 文/鄧雪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">生就清奇骨，瓊姿脫俗塵。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">吐香滋粉面，展蕾點(diǎn)丹唇。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雪沁濃華盛，霜凌艷彩新。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風(fēng)來人覓徑，怒放報(bào)初春。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">詠梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/牡丹</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">清新別韻修，嫵媚傍泉優(yōu)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">玉骨凌寒雪，疏枝綻蕊酬</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">橫斜疏影秀，獨(dú)處心不幽。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">低唱淺吟醉，冰心祥瑞柔。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(255, 138, 0);">簡(jiǎn)評(píng)：這首詩(shī)押韻正確，平仄尚有斟酌之處， “疏”、“心”也有重字之嫌。整首詩(shī)雖未見“梅”字，但從用語及意境來看，都是圍繞“梅”來展開。望繼續(xù)努力。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">頌梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/年華</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">麗質(zhì)魂高雅，芳顏靚美容。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風(fēng)情嬌百態(tài)，神韻秀群峰。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">斗霧擎香蕊，餐霜伴竹松。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">銜云邀日月，抱雪俏寒冬。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">梅花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/湛蘭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">陣陣梅花發(fā)，江南見雪時(shí)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">壓枝清馥遠(yuǎn)，飄袖素芳知。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">煙月人題句，樓臺(tái)客賦詞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">悠揚(yáng)漫天舞，宛轉(zhuǎn)滿園姿。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">詠梅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(22, 126, 251);">文/黃法</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">點(diǎn)點(diǎn)野梅紅，芳香數(shù)九中。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">瓊枝梳瑞雪，俏蕊笑寒風(fēng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">骨傲催詩(shī)賦，身輕待友融。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">冰天能引客，誰敢與她同？</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><a href="http://www.cishanshihui.com.cn/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=14853" target="_blank">慈善詩(shī)會(huì)花開講堂所有課程專欄介紹</a></p>