<p class="ql-block">@所有人</p><p class="ql-block">華夏微型詩(shī)社第537期周周發(fā)同題創(chuàng)作開(kāi)始了。</p><p class="ql-block"> 歡迎詩(shī)友們參與微型詩(shī)寫(xiě)作!請(qǐng)?jiān)缛諛?gòu)思打磨!</p><p class="ql-block">備注:</p><p class="ql-block">1、投稿、收稿時(shí)間:</p><p class="ql-block">4月8日晚上7點(diǎn)——10點(diǎn)。</p><p class="ql-block">2、每人選投一首微型詩(shī)。</p><p class="ql-block">3、請(qǐng)單獨(dú)發(fā)帖,不要自行接龍,由巴山一松老師統(tǒng)一收稿。</p><p class="ql-block">4、稿件選編到美篇,并由詩(shī)社老師予以點(diǎn)評(píng)。</p><p class="ql-block">5、本期題目:</p><p class="ql-block">①《自戀》 </p><p class="ql-block">②《春曲》</p><p class="ql-block">6.出題老師:二海</p><p class="ql-block">7、交流時(shí)可交流兩首,投稿時(shí)只選投一首,收稿只收一首,點(diǎn)評(píng)也只點(diǎn)評(píng)一首。</p><p class="ql-block">8.優(yōu)秀作品推薦“微詩(shī)坊”。</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/小乙</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">辨識(shí)嫩芽芽附點(diǎn)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">唱響綠色的歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一只風(fēng)箏飆出了高音</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 詩(shī)人選用新奇的意象,將春天的生機(jī)勃勃以靈動(dòng)筆觸展現(xiàn),畫(huà)面感強(qiáng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春 曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/趙正霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">東風(fēng)拋出幾粒鳥(niǎo)鳴</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">催化冰凌 掰開(kāi)七色花瓣 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">躍動(dòng)的輕音樂(lè) 淌過(guò)心房</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 把春天比作輕音樂(lè),寫(xiě)出春天帶來(lái)的心靈觸動(dòng),語(yǔ)言富有張力。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">自戀</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/付光渝</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">道理我都懂 可聽(tīng)到</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">別人喊美女</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">還是忍不住回頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 直白的語(yǔ)言,道出聽(tīng)到喊“美女”的心態(tài),展現(xiàn)人內(nèi)心深處的觸動(dòng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">自戀</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/吉新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">草原是我的。草原如果卷起來(lái)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">里面那個(gè)姑娘</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">也是我的</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 想象大膽?yīng)毺?,將草原與姑娘融為一體歸為“己”有,凸顯強(qiáng)烈的自我意識(shí),大手筆大氣勢(shì),豪邁中盡顯自戀。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/八鄉(xiāng)人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">墻角的桃花散落</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">不知是笑</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">還是唱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 借“墻角桃花散落”,以疑問(wèn)引發(fā)思考,表達(dá)春天的情緒,令人回味。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 自 戀</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 文/晗羲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春天這位魔術(shù)師,把我化成綠葉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">開(kāi)出鮮花,究竟是葉美</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">還是花美?是葉香還是花香</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 以葉、花之美之香的對(duì)比追問(wèn),巧妙表達(dá)出對(duì)自身美的欣賞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/周其林</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">小漁村變成大都市</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一個(gè)老人畫(huà)個(gè)圈的故事</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">就傳唱開(kāi)來(lái)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首句以深圳變化起筆,二三句盡現(xiàn)春天的故事,禮贊偉大的祖國(guó),寫(xiě)出不一樣的春曲。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/陳興茂</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">惠風(fēng)奏響生命歡歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">小溪吻醒山間野花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">輕輕訴衷情 低聲道密語(yǔ) </span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 用擬人手法描繪臺(tái)春天的溫柔與盎然生機(jī),滿是柔情、浪漫與對(duì)美好的歌唱。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">自戀</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/執(zhí)著</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">心理年齡,永遠(yuǎn)只有十八歲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">快樂(lè)是我的代名詞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">美容,在微笑中完成</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 主題似乎有點(diǎn)偏貶義,詩(shī)人另辟新意,面對(duì)一切,倡導(dǎo)快樂(lè),這是精神取向,值得人們深思!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/丹霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">小河叮咚唱起了歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">和黃鶯比賽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">陶醉的蜜蜂靜候桃杏枝頭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 春天來(lái)了,殘冬消融,″小河叮咚唱起了歌",詩(shī)人用擬人的手法,美好的向往,輕松愉悅的心態(tài)起筆,大動(dòng)聲色,春意盎然!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/東方虹雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">東風(fēng) 奏響柳笛</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">池塘里蛙鼓配樂(lè)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一首大合唱 寫(xiě)進(jìn)谷雨詩(shī)行</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> "東風(fēng)"、″柳笛","蛙鼓","谷雨"大合唱,取點(diǎn)典型精準(zhǔn),一掃暮春時(shí)節(jié)"清明時(shí)節(jié)雨紛紛"的沉悶,清新脫俗。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">自戀</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/綠色</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一只烏鴉對(duì)著鏡子</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">擺出各種姿勢(shì),引來(lái)很多相機(jī)圍拍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">更洋洋得意</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 詩(shī)人以"烏鴉"意象為底色,寓意耐品!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 文/岐麟散人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">三月 百花打翻調(diào)色盤(pán)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紅紫藍(lán)白肆意暈染</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">大地歡歌 奏響耕作的序章</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 春曲無(wú)處不響,詩(shī)人以浪漫的情懷,以農(nóng)耕的視角,肆意的筆法,奏響春天!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春 曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 文/行天</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">山河已無(wú)恙</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">游人信步坦途</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">綠屏花影中幾聲?shū)B(niǎo)鳴</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 真是行天,行天下大事!″山河已無(wú)恙″,這五個(gè)大字,寫(xiě)出來(lái)是激動(dòng),是榮幸,″已"彰自信,更是驕傲!尤其那個(gè)"幾"字,若為陳述句,那是寧?kù)o,就在我們偉大的祖國(guó),若叩天一問(wèn),問(wèn)蕩宕的世界和平,幾何?。。????立足雄視,立意呼吁!善意中溫文爾雅,有氣質(zhì),猶如拂來(lái)~~華春瑩~~,好詩(shī)!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/陽(yáng)帽雨傘</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">小草擬譜 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">柳弄絲弦</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">鳥(niǎo)兒結(jié)伴贈(zèng)戀歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 入微亦可人,行行拂詩(shī)意!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/綠柳楓</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">鳥(niǎo)鳴打開(kāi)廣播系統(tǒng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">三月的電臺(tái)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">便一鍵調(diào)至花香頻道</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首行,仿佛翻卷孟浩然詩(shī)云:春眠不覺(jué)曉,處處聞啼鳥(niǎo),不絕于耳。本首詩(shī)人嘗試著植入現(xiàn)代化的名詞:廣播系統(tǒng),電臺(tái),頻道,推陳出新,致敬!個(gè)人弱弱的建議,這些名詞,寫(xiě)詩(shī)不一定全搬出來(lái),甚至相互涵蓋,詩(shī)人與讀者應(yīng)像一對(duì)暗戀的情人,意中皆懂即可,尤其微型詩(shī)。我也是門(mén)外漢,不影響我一直以來(lái)對(duì)詩(shī)人綠柳楓對(duì)詩(shī)的理解與尊敬!</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/墨客吟</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">幾粒鳥(niǎo)鳴串起一張張笑靨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">譜寫(xiě)新歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">回饋大地母親</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 有鳥(niǎo)鳴,也有曲,表達(dá)出春天的意象。個(gè)人感覺(jué)是平了,缺乏獨(dú)特的語(yǔ)言和感受。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">自戀</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/雪兒懷春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">從那朵浪花帶我飄蕩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">容下諸多嘲弄忍受無(wú)數(shù)抨擊</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">愛(ài)在堅(jiān)持文字游園尋樂(lè)趣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 貴在堅(jiān)持??催^(guò)一句話,有意義的快樂(lè)就是幸福,送給你了。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/喜陽(yáng)柳保宅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">桃枝綻粉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">燕語(yǔ)裁云</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風(fēng)把希望播種</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 有桃有燕還有風(fēng),這樣的春曲挺應(yīng)景。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">自戀</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/家鄉(xiāng)小河</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一朵桃花,和風(fēng)兒一起舞蹈</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">對(duì)著陽(yáng)光瞇眼</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">對(duì)蜜蜂說(shuō)著“不要”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 戀,就包括了選擇,也包括了拒絕,“不要”也可視為宣言了。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/康秀炎</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">柳笛嘟嘟地吹出前奏</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">燕子一遍遍在水面調(diào)音</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">百靈對(duì)著陽(yáng)光的五彩譜視唱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 不錯(cuò)的春曲,元素齊全。個(gè)感不如抓住一個(gè)意象深入挖掘,抒發(fā)自己獨(dú)特的感受。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">自戀</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/隨風(fēng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">讀鏡子里的我</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">樂(lè)開(kāi)花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">原來(lái)這么帥氣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 自信還是該有的,畢竟自己已經(jīng)很努力了。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/空谷幽蘭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">碧葉婆娑,姍姍篩日影</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">燕子穿梭期間</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">訴說(shuō)舊日悄悄話</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 婆娑、穿梭、悄悄話,有這些詞語(yǔ)就感覺(jué)成功了。尤其“篩日影”,精彩獨(dú)到,富有新意。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/巴山一松</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">花朵,先后從畫(huà)里走出來(lái)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">讓位人影一角</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">交由蜜蜂釀造甜蜜,流水甩膀子歌唱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 走、讓、釀造,運(yùn)用很精彩,“甩膀子歌唱”新穎獨(dú)到,讓人眼前一亮。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/陽(yáng)光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">播種機(jī)鳴唱 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">土地欣喜</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">希望 壟上飛出</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 春耕情景,有欣喜,有希望。愜意之情,不言而喻。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 在新意上,還需加強(qiáng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">自戀</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">林漢梁/南昌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">成年起臉蛋迷人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">學(xué)習(xí)生活懶惰</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">多次相親無(wú)果最終……</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 抓住一點(diǎn),進(jìn)行深入聯(lián)想。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/葦強(qiáng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一朵桃花,拋了一個(gè)媚眼</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">瞬間,心湖蕩漾</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一片片的嫣紅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 借花喻人、寓情。還需深入。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/森林雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">座座青山如琴,條條綠水似弦</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風(fēng)雨協(xié)奏</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一季江山花月夜</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 語(yǔ)言美!但語(yǔ)言必須靠?jī)?nèi)容、內(nèi)涵和思想去支撐。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/吳琳玲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">花香與微風(fēng)共舞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">笑語(yǔ)滿枝</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">相思 又一年</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 這首構(gòu)思簡(jiǎn)單,卻給人新鮮感覺(jué)。用擬人手法,寫(xiě)景,結(jié)尾轉(zhuǎn)抒情。有詩(shī)味!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/老妖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風(fēng)輕吻枝頭低言囑咐</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">登臺(tái)莫誤魅力無(wú)限</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">攜袋中迷香結(jié)伴同行方受寵</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">咋夜星簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 三行敘述,似乎沒(méi)納入一個(gè)統(tǒng)一的氛圍、境界,框架之中。抓住一點(diǎn)聯(lián)想、想象即可。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">自戀</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">江南風(fēng)/杭州</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">毀林,又一地皮榨出了油</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">枯腐的界樁上</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一只鳥(niǎo),唱著那時(shí)的歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">咋夜星簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 好!讓人眼前一亮的一首。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 立意深,構(gòu)思圓熟、巧妙!作者探討了一個(gè)重大,深刻的主題:“毀林”。尾盤(pán)的隱喻,耐咀嚼,回味無(wú)窮!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 江南風(fēng)微詩(shī),不靠語(yǔ)言花哨吸引讀者,而是靠立意、內(nèi)容、內(nèi)涵。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">春曲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/往往醉后</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">燕子歸來(lái)時(shí) 呢喃些煙花三月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">河岸那柳 便用柔情</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">譜出了飄逸的歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">昨夜星簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “燕子”“煙花三月”河岸柳”美好的三月,讓人心情愉悅。</span></p>